Daughters of the Moon, Sisters of the Sun is about the courage it takes to face and change self-destructive thinking and behavior, to live with unanswered questions, to persevere against odds, to accept oneself, to tell the truth, to stay connected, to forgive, to say no, to change habits, to be passionate, to stand up for what one believes in, to finish school, to be friends, to stay sober, to face death, to love, to care, and to be compassionate.
It is about becoming a woman, choosing a spiritual path, being a feminist, being an athlete, living through anorexia and bulimia, attempted suicide, depression, self-discovery, media influence, child abuse, molestation, drugs, pop culture, peer pressure, body image, teen pregnancy, teen motherhood, sustainable economics, sexuality, bisexuality, love, health, marriage, minority experience, and interracial relationships.
It is about living in the web of life from the female perspective, and about history and the women who have struggled for equality, opportunity, education, and inclusion.
Pollyanna does not appear in this book, but neither does Ophelia. The girls and women whose voices enrich these pages show others that they are not alone, that they need not be erased by their challenges, and are capable of making their own choices and being empowered by the experience. The book is about seeing that the issues girls deal with stem from much larger problems in our world, and must be worked on simultaneously.
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Excerpts from the book |
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Suzannah Ribeiro
I was so scared I went completely hysterical, totally out of control. I think that's how I ended up becoming anorexic. Not eating was something I could control. After that, I wasn't afraid anymore. I think that's what happens in adolescence. You start to want to shrink away. What's weird now is that I've completely conquered my fear of the darkness and come around to where I celebrate it. I can see why I was so scared of it as a child - I had so much in me...
...To me, dieting and getting a man were the two most important things a woman could do. All the women's magazines said, 7 New Ways to Lose Weight, 15 Pounds Lost in 15 days or How to Get Your Man. They influenced me to think losing weight is how I get a man, how I can be a real woman... ...The more I tried to control things the more out of control I got. I got really mean. I'd be mean to my boyfriend in front of people and flirt with other guys. I'd be mean to my mom and she'd just leave. I didn't feel depressed but now when I look back on it I am surprised I didn't try killing myself earlier. You feel trapped, yet it's such a comforting disease. It's like feeling good and bad and punishing yourself all in one...
...So I went into the bedroom and got the sleeping pills...Once you start it's just like one, two, three, and the next one and the next one and the next one, and it's so easy. I took 14 sleeping pills, a half of a bottle of painkillers and then I took a shower and it was like, YES,YES, it's done with, it's finally done with...
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McKenzie Nielsen
When I was in high school, I felt attractions towards women but I felt like I had to keep them to myself. At times I wondered if these feelings were because of my experiences with men, but I realized it wasn't about running away from men, but running towards women. Moving to Seattle and starting college gave me the freedom to explore.
My first relationship came out of a close friendship. It was tentative and childlike, completely new to both of us and very improvisational. Even though we never really made love, and we were hesitant about our feelings and identities, it was the most satisfying relationship I had ever experienced. I felt loved and listened to for the first time...
It lasted only for a summer, we wanted different things; but I will be grateful to her forever for being my first companion in discovery. After this I dated causally but I always felt like I was the driven lesbian seducing the curious heterosexual. What I wanted was to have my passionate feelings returned as well as my loving feelings. I didn't want there to be gender roles, but I was constantly falling into either "femme" or "dyke". I'm neither, like most lesbians, but people will name you to keep you caged.
It was hard coming out to my parents. I knew they were going to be upset. Especially my mom, who has problems with homosexuality. The thing I was most afraid of was that they would take offense and think that I was doing it to be different. I love my parents and I never want to hurt them. I waited for a year after I knew for sure it wasn't going to change.
I told my mom first. She was not happy about it. She was afraid of my father's reaction and of the world's response. She was afraid I wouldn't be hired if anyone knew. She tried really hard to understand why I would make this choice, but couldn't. It's still really hard for her. I want my parents to be proud of me, but I have to be myself. I have to be open. I want them to know my girlfriends and to be a part of my life. I didn't want them to be distanced from me. They deserve to know that this is my life choice. There are no absolutes but this is not going to change as far as I can tell.
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